sweet musings*

2008-12-04T18:00:00.004+08:00

If We Hold On Together

Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I

DAY 1/ 20 Nov 08

Siem Reap Airport is cool! It looks exactly like a Bintan resort bcoz everything's made of wood. Jetstar Asia is pretty ok :) Mainly bcoz it was a short haul flight, but it's still better than Air India. At least the air stewardesses don't scold you & the tables work. But I wished there was water though. According to some noticeboard we saw at the airport, we're supposed to drink 250ml of water for each hour of air travel, so you can imagine how dehydrated we were. My throat was pretty much spolit for most parts of the trip after that.

The pace of life in Cambodia is pretty slow & sedentary.

We ate breakfast at Town View Hotel. The hotel staff were making quite a whole hullabaloo just preparing breakfast. I thought breakfasts were quite simple & common things in hotels & yet they did it like it was something challenging they were doing for the first time. I think they don't do much planning to improve their efficiency bah.

Although Phnom Penh is ordered & neater, it is much plainer than New Delhi which has more character despite the mess.

DAY 2/ 21 Nov 08

Sleeping in the mosquito nets were pretty comfortable initially when we slept 2 to a net. Somehow I don't really mind roughing it out here. I keep telling myself this is much better than Pulau Ubin. Seriously! At least mosquitoes don't buzz around my ears, waiting to suck my blood at every possible moment. I recommend Thursday Plantation roll-on insect repellent :) It's made of natural ingredients, smells nice & most importantly, can repel insects :)

I don't have a Cambodian buddy yet :( You know when we arrived at UNACAS, the students would discuss among themselves then grab one of us to be their buddies, then they'll stick to you permanently for the rest of your stay. So nice right :) They'll make an effort to receive you at the entrance in the morn, give you little things & send you off to the gate at night. But at the moment when we first entered the orphanage & they were picking buddies just based on how we look without really knowing who we are really made me feel like we were goods on display for their pick.

The pri sch kids at UNACAS are generally physically very fit. They seriously outrun us in catching. I realized I should run lower to lower my CG to run faster. Played volleyball with the sec sch guys in UNACAS. Their setting & smashing damn zai3 lah! Their net is self-made, pieced together from measuring tape. They could even make a basketball hoop out of raw wooden planks & some rubber rope. Hm, the perfect epitome of making the best use of what you have :)

June, Eli & I taught Narong, 17, & Seiha, 16, advanced english for 3 hours straight. Narong became one of my buddies after that. Ha, it felt like real hardcore english tuition, it wasn't like teaching them songs, ABCs or simple words. We tried to invite them to play outside with the rest but they actually refused & wanted to continue studying O.O Amazing right? I was thinking, wow my 同类! :D

Narong is from high school which is equivalent to our JC. He's super hardworking! Most of the kids sleep at 9pm & rise at 5am. But he actually sleeps at 11pm & wakes up at 4am bcoz he wants to go through his lesson notes. Oh my gosh, I was quite surprised to find such ppl in a Cambodian orphanage. He's not very into sports though, he sings & plays the guitar instead, so sometimes the other boys call him gay. He can play & sing 老鼠爱大米 leh!!

Seiha is from sec sch but her English is pretty good :) Ooh, at first, Narong said Seiha was his sister. So, we thought he meant they were real siblings. After that, I realized he meant brothers & sisters in the sense that they were all God's children - UNACAS was a Christian orphanage. Bcoz afterwards, he told us that Seiha was his best sister & that he likes her! He said she would look after him when he's sick, buy chocolate biscuits for him to eat while he studies at night so he can stay awake. So nice right :) Heh, Seiha is damn funny, she would become very quiet & shy when Narong is around. Conversely, when Narong isn't around, she would be more proactive & spontaneous inlearning. Haha :D So cool! So cool! & Eli is uber slow, when we were trying to teach them the meaning of "pronounce", Eli actually gave the example," I now pronounce you husband & wife." Then, June & I had to try our best to stifle our laughter.

The experience taught me that everywhere we go, even when Cambodia is so different from Singapore, we still can find the sporty ppl, the mugger ppl & the talkative ppl, just that they exist in a different context. To me, this was quite a revelation.

DAY 3/ 22 Nov 08

We taught Narong in the morning again. He spent last night checking up the meaning of words he didn't undertstand in the worksheet for the next lesson. We learnt that he actually has a timetable 24/7 that he strictly abides to. Impressed :) He reminds me of Jia Hui, focused & motivated student :) We did questions like your next big purchase, your ambitions & what you're most worried about. & then he shared with us that he wanted to buy an ipod & desktop. He likes clothes in black & white. But all no money :( I guess that's why he wants to businessman in the future. Felt quite bad hearing all these bcoz in my home, I've free ipod nano & ipod shuffle that no one uses, wished I could give it to him. In fact, he also wants an alarm clock. He actually likes the sound of the alarm clock. You know things that we can get so easily & disregard can actually mean so much to someone else. You know Narong even said that when he goes to school & sees other children with their parents, he'll feel sad & sometimes angry. He was born on 15 Apr 91. He was sold away when he was young & his foster parents forced him to work in the fields such that he couldn't study. His foster mother even abused him, so he ran away from home. He only came to UNACAS at age 15. Was quite shocked, bcoz all the while I thought he grew up in the orphanage. At that moment, I didn't know what to say, I could only listen. I think being 17, he's more conscious of the situation he's in & more aware of how uncertain the future is. Studying to him is like the only thing he can count on to get a stable & reasonably good future. I guess that's why he's so motivated. They only get 300 rhiel for pocket money a day. US$1 = 4000 rhiel, so you can go do the math yourself. The money is only 意思意思, coz it can't even buy anything in sch, unless they save up, which is what they're encouraged to do in UNACAS. I wonder how orphans feel. I reckon there's a whole field of psychology behind orphans. I really hope God can protect these children, provide them with money for uni education coz that's what Narong is quite worried about & grant them new sponsorship as their current sponsorship is ending next year. I cannot imagine them without sponsorship when 他们已经在省吃俭用. & I guess having a religion like Christianity helps, bcoz it helps you have faith & hope even when you're in dire straits. It gives you a reason to keep looking forward to the better future God has in mind for you.

Found out Narong sings at church mass coz we saw the older kids practising for youth worship in the church hall in the evening.

Haha, Reaksa aka Candy is damn cute ^_^ She bears a striking semblance with the Candy Yong Tau Foo auntie can. Lol.

Harila also taught has a new method of folding hearts :) The UNACAS girls' origami skills also damn zai, they have so much variants for folding hearts & other types of origami.

Suddenly, Malysa became my buddy. She's 15. She just came over & tied a friendship band on my ankle. I only taught her for awhile with Narong & Seiha on our 1st lesson. But her Eng isn't very good, so she can't really understand the lesson half the time, so she went to play with the other kids after a while. Actually, sometimes I don't even think she understands what I'm saying when I talk to her normally. Heh, & sometimes I feel like I'm just her messenger to Jun Hong.

Ooh, we changed into 4 ppl to a net after the 1st night bcoz all of us had to squeeze into 2 tiny rooms which can't fit all the mozzie nets. My mozzie net mates were Jing Ying, Eli & June. Sleeping in mozzie nets with 4 ppl was quite a ritual. At first we tried vertical position, too squeezy. Then we tried horizontal position, then ppl like Jing Ying & I died bcoz our legs are long & cannot stay curled up for long. So, we finally settled on horizontal position with legs sticking into the teachers' nets. Haha, & every night, the kiasu June must spray every corner of the net with mozzie repellent until the entire net chokes of deet. Lol. But I actually liked the experience of staying in the mozzie net than the hotel room bcoz I think this whole night time ritual helped to bond us together.

DAY 4/ 23 Nov 08

Today, we visited the killing fields & prison museum. I feel that war is actually a part & parcel of every human civilization. When man & man come together, there's bound to be some conflict of interest, just that it gets blown out of proportion in war. This is when we should try to rise above these & hold onto our moral values & principles.

I never knew Cambodia was so devastated by war. I knew it had a war, but I never knew it went to such great extremes. It can likened to the senseless German holocaust. People hear about the Vietnam War but little is known about the tragic war history in Cambodia - how Cambodia was caught in the strife between N.Viet & S.Viet & how it eventually culminated in the Khmer Rogue during the Polpot regime. I can't imagine this war happening in the 1970s when S'pore was actually rebuilding itself, when my mum was growing up as a normal teenager. Somehow I've the impression that all really bad wars ended with the end of WW2, guess I was wrong. I think these lessons from war tell us that war is never a soloution to problems & is the last thing any leader should consider doing.

But on a brighter note, it's amazing how Cambodia aka Kampuchea aka Cambodge has managed to pick itself up so fast in around 20 years to develop into what they're today. Many developments are in place as can be seen by the construction of economic zones, offices, housing & malls in the town area.

Today, I got hit back to reality when I checked h3 results online & found out that I didn't get into bio h3. It also reminded me of the unhappy things that I managed to forget while I was in UNACAS.

One life is all we've got. It is important to do what we want to do, work hard & forge ahead.

DAY 6/ 25 Nov 08

Today, Narong showed us his photos & letters from his previous buddies & haha, actually he's quite 帅 larh :) I wonder how he got hold of his baby photos since his real parents sold him away to another when he was young. Hm, much less know his birthday.

I made new friends today! Obeya! June & Eli's buddy. June & Obeya damn cool can, they're both born on 6 Jun, so fated :) Hahaha, & Candy is damn cute!! She calls Louis "Loo-Fee". Hehe. She actually tried to scam me that she ate blu-tack. I also met Chandry & Chakriya. Chandry has straighter hair. Chakriya has curlier hair, very outgoing & friendly. She's keeps insisting that my name is "Choo-Fee" :p Not forgetting Soben too. She's another one of those good students :) She has a real sister in the orphanage, called Samai. They don't look alike though.

After interviewing Mr Sela, director of UNACAS, & other volunteers like Vituk, Vita, Rithy& Sarah, I realized what a wholesome & holistic place UNACAS was bcoz UNACAS teaches the students to grow up into responsible & good citizens who are grateful & reciprocative of what UNACAS has done for them. Vituk, Vita & Rithy were actually children from UNACAS, they continue going back to serve the children, as translators, counsellors, etc. Sarah is from YMCA Cambodia. She was initially averse to the children in UNACAS, but her husband urged her to give herself a chance to understand the children. After coming to know the background of each of the children & interacting with them for a long time, she grew to like them. She's formed such a bond with them that the children call her mum & her husband has kindly agreed to let her stay in the orphanage. She only has plans to have her children about 3 years later. UNACAS has a monthly expenditure of US$6000. They have a farm of their own but it can only raise US$500 monthly. So, UNACAS still mainly relies on sponsorships & donations from the public. You know the stats kind of shocked me. US$6000 to support all 100 plus children & workers while back in Singapore US$6000 is used to support only the 6 ppl in my family. I think maybe you can see the contrast in living standards now.

Eli mentioned that maybe the UNACAS children are lucky bcoz they get to meet ppl from all over the world. It's like the visitors like us are their windows to the world. Probably something not many of the normal Cambodian kids get to experience. I guess at the orphanage the bad thing is you have to 靠别人的施舍, guess there's some insecurity attached to that. It's different in your own family when everything is rightfully yours. The feeling's different.

"Being popular & the life of the party is all & nothing at the same time. It's like you go home & realize none of it was real." - some random quote from 8days

DAY 8 & 9/ 29 & 30 Nov 08

Boo, I'm writing this at 1am & I want to sleep x.x But I shall write while I wait for my hair to dry. Haix, miss Phnom Penh's Central Mkt :( Wonder how Val did it. I hardly bought anything in Cambodia. & everything in Siem Reap now are all the artsy fartsy stuff that are not very practical. Luckily Jing Ying is my roomie, she's damn good at bargaining :p She says haggling is like putting up an act & going with the flow. Words of a pro...

After exiting Kampong Cham province & on our way to Kampong Thom province, we saw padi fields after padi fields. Basically, there's one straight road that goes on forever for 5h by bus, flanked by padi fields on both sides. There were sporadic houses on stilts along the way. I think they are their own little community with schools & health centres. I wonder what it's like to live like them, seeing ppl travelling from Phnom Penh to Siem Reap & vice versa while staying rooted at the same spot. It's like seeing the whole world moving before eyes while not changing where you are at all.

By the way, the schools all look the same. An entrance, low buildings on 3 sides & a courtyard in the middle. We visited some random high school today & it looked eerily like the prison museum we visited in Phnom Penh, bcoz they converted the high school into a prison & torture cell. The schools haven't changed from the 1920s up till now. Wow. They're that old.

Today, was our last day at UNACAS, cried very hard when Rithy & Narong sang us "Goodbye My Friend" song. I guess those kindgarten kids kind of understood what the song meant & realized what was happening & cried too. It's quite saddening to see little children cry. It made us cry even more. On the last day, Narong passed me a letter from Seiha. Seiha actually wrote a personal letter to me while I didn't. I just gave her a short note. I always felt that she doesn't really talk to me so I didn't really see a need to write a personal letter to her. It made me realize how sometimes we fail to see the people who actually wanted our presence. It made me feel that I had sort of neglected her. But I'm glad I managed to talk to her sometimes, like how to fold stars, what she normally does & what she wants to be next time. Peter, who's 18 & whom I don't really know, wrote me a letter that I couldn't understand bcoz of the bad grammar & spelling. But his letter made me feel funny. It felt like the type of letter Malysa wrote to Jun Hong o.O Boo, oh well.

Impressions change over time. We should learn to give people a chance.

DAY 12/ 1 Dec 08

We found out today that last year's OCIP Cambodia helped pave a road outside the Boys Brigade Learning Centre in Siem Reap. The village children can attend lessons at the BBLC for a nominal fee. Hm, I felt lucky that I went to UNACAS in Phnom Penh instead. It's warmer & homelier, I guess. In UNACAS, you get buddies, form deep attachments with the place & the children.

DAY 13/ 2 Dec 08

Oh my gosh, I'm actually excited to go back home to meet my family & friends & do my work. Not that I didn't like trip. I made quite a few good friends & friends here & was able to see the fun side of the teachers. I found this trip really enjoyable & eye-opening although it came with some hardwork since it's a service learning trip. Quite funny for me to feel this way bcoz I'm normally very reluctant to go back to S'pore. I think this trip really fulfilled my objective of breaking my normal routine coz I wanted more variety inlife. Don't know whether feeling this way is good or bad. Ha, maybe service learning helped me realize the preciousness of the bonds I share with my family & friends. & maybe I feel that I no longer have anything that I want to avoid in my life in S'pore anymore. Good job girl :)

Click HERE to see the photostory of trip :)

2008-10-31T01:16:00.008+08:00

Hello, it's been so long since I came here, I'm lost for words. I had a lot to say, but facing the computer, I'm not even sure whether it's worth my time to write about those unhappy things. I think introspection at this point of time won't do me any good, I had too much of it today.

Let's talk about happier things first :)

Firstly, Eleanor, Juat & Shi Hui helped me make an interesting discovery - Settler's Cafe. It actually felt like the new KBox. I actually felt quite apprehensive when I first went to the place. I mean who pays $6 to play some used board games & drink peach tea? Ha, but it turned out to be much more fun than I had expected. I actually didn't feel like leaving, lol. You can brush up on business acumen when you play the auction game & I love playing the board games that test how much you understand your friends or find out what your friends think about you. Can learn so much more about your friends :) Next time, we should have more outings to Settler's Cafe!

Secondly, I went to GV Gold Class Cinema for free! Heather happened to have free tix & she invited me to watch Mamma Mia! It was damn cool! It was like flying business class in SIA! They serve you drinks in glasses, they serve wine too, provided you pay lah duh. Oh my gosh, the seats are so spacious & come with leg rests & blankets <3 size="4">这种东西要看天适地利人和. A society is made up of a leader who decides on the components that are needed to build up a successful community. If academic skills are valued by society, then those who are academically inclined will be better off as long as they have scraped past the acceptable standard of character. When what you're good at is valued, you exploit the opportunity & get ahead of the rest. Society just works like that. Haha, I think if society values patience, I think I would be far far ahead already :D My Dad also said that it's only what I think when I say that they don't put in much effort. He said they had put in so much effort in the past & built up such a good foundation, they can now achieve things easily with little effort. I agree to a certain [sorry, can't decide] extent but I still believe some of it's got to do with inborn talent. It's just like how some people can get into a groove of a dance so easily while some can't even get the rhythm right. So, you just got to put in double, triple, quadruple the effort to attain the same results. Then, I replied, so you mean I've been lagging all my life? Then, my Dad said, you're a constant worker but sometimes you think you're studying when actually you're not. & no doubt about it, all success comes with discipline & grind. & it's also about putting in effort at the right time.

Haha, I'm still finding a way to study smart & be more exam smart, because I think that's what I'm lacking coz if you ask me to sit down & study, I'll have the patience to go through every single thing until I'm done. Hm, & I guess time management, must increase my absorption rate. Take too long to absorb & digest things x( I must thank Jia Hui & Jolene alot :) Jia Hui is damn smart lah, she puts in alot of effort, & she's so nice :) One day, I was complaining to her how I study but still get lousy results then she questioned me whether I was studying hard enough & that I must clarify questions as soon I as they appear, in short to be completely immersed in a thinking atmosphere. She kind of 促使我 to put in constant effort. Then for Jolene, the way I hear how she studies scares me x.x She stays up all the way up to 4, 5am just to study & she actually considers 1am early x.x So, sometimes when I'm studying & I feel quite sian, I'll imagine that Jolene is in front of me mugging furiously & I'll be like telling myself "Why are you slacking? Continue studying! Don't bluff yourself that you're tired!" Really! Haha :D

& I didn't make much improvement for GP lah, contrary to what Mrs Tan claimed. Bcoz my promo grades & blocks grade differed only by one mark, you call that improvement? It's probably bcoz of the impression she gets when she interacts with me in class bah. I was actually quite disappointed for GP bcoz I thought I was starting to get the 窍门 for GP due to term 3 CA results, then I got penalized quite considerably for bad handwriting in promos, so stupid x.x As in they will circle all my "illegible" [ok, the teachers are forgiven, coz even personally as the writer, I have difficulty reading it again, lol] words & put question marks all over the place. Aiyee, 我怕了x.x 我励志养成好笔记! Ha, you know I was so scared I'll get penalized in Bio too, thankfully I was not. Math was equally dumb too, ok I shall now declare to the whole word that I got E for promos, & I feel so ashamed of myself, & so 对不起 Mr Loo, coz it's so lousy. It's so dumb lah, I don't know what's wrong with my bladder, probably got to do with some urinary tract infection I had when I was a baby, my urge to pee is incessantly frequent. It's like one hour after the start of Math, then I was like "Shit! Need to go toilet!" So, I was like 一边忍着，一边做着试卷. Bad experience x.x So, I learned from my experience & barred myself from drinking water 1h before the start of Bio paper, bcoz if I drink water later than that, even if I go to the toilet before the paper, I'll still have the urge to pee. Ha, but actually sometimes I think this is psychological. But, oh wells, better safe than sorry, heh. & Zhen Rui, I can't draw kinetics graphs too, I always get the gradients wrong x.x

Juatty sent me a random chain sms, thought it was rather meaningful, shared it with Jolynn too. It answers alot of problems that you encounter in life. It's as follows:

人在成长的过程中
难免遇到挫折
懂得保护自己
也要懂得爱自己
生命的乐章
看你如何去谱写
躲避不一定躲得过
面对不一定最难受
得到不一定能长久
失去不一定不再有
转身不一定最软弱
别急着说别无选择
别以为世上只有对与错
许多事情的答案都不只一个
所以我们永远有路可以走
你能找到理由难过
也一定能找到快乐
懂得放心的人找到轻松
懂得遗忘的人找到自由
懂得关怀的人找到朋友

Haha, whirlwind JC1 life was crazy yet the experiences so rich, I wouldn't give it up for anything else, eventhough some of it were painful, it helped me to grow as a person. Life was also alot more liveable bcoz of good friends who bothered to hear my grouses, coz even people who put up a strong front need a listening ear & a hug sometimes.

You know, now when I look at you, I feel sorry that you're such a person. It's actually the first time I feel glad for losing someone. Thanks for doing this to me because you helped me 看透了你的为人 & 彻彻底底地放弃. The End.

2008-07-19T01:27:00.001+08:00

When I came home one day last week, I found my house in a state of destruction. My dad was talking about redoing the garden bcoz all the plants were dying & ostensibly, this is bad fengshui. My mum said if things outside the house are dying, it means that things inside the house are probably breaking down as well. Lol, no wonder my comp monitor died, the printer ran out of ink, the TV remote control spoilt & the fan gave way. Haha :D Anyways, that day, I came home from school feeling uber groggy bcoz I was sleeping in the bus. Then, when I stepped into the house, I found half of the palm trees in my garden chopped away leaving only the stumps. I was like... what?!?! 这是我的家吗? It was like deforestation in progress. Then, there were like construction stuff all over the place bcoz my dad decided to renovate the exterior of the house. I went to take my camera to capture this whole scene of... destruction. While retrieving the camera from upstairs, I noticed a reflection in the window in the last room. It was a reflection of the sunset. I stuck my head out of the window & I was like... oh my gosh. 超美!

This is the picture of state of destruction. I tried to focus on the dead branches of the plant to emphasize death. Hm, but it didn't look as destroyed as I wanted it to be.

This is the picture of the sunset! Oh my gosh! 超美! 超美! I can't believe I actually took this picture. I like how the rich amber sky, the glowing blue cross and the silhouette of the houses come together. You can actually see Bishan behind the church building. I think I've photography talent can :D

While my original intention was to capture the derelict and decrepit state of my house, I ended up finding a picture perfect moment. You know the moment I took the photo of the sunset, I felt that it was my AHA moment. Lol, bcoz the PW teacher during WR lecture that same day kept talking about AHA moments. It made me realize that sometimes when we work towards something we want, we find other things along the way that might mean even more than the original destination itself. It's like when you have a problem in life, the friendships forged with the people whom you confide in might ultimately matter more than what you were troubled with in the first place. Don't know... just found alot of parallels of that theory in my life.

Anyways, some of us played volleyball for PT. Playing volleyball is 超爽! I somehow like sports where we can hit things back rhythmically. Ha, I like the sweet spot sound when we hit the ball in tennis :) K, as I was saying, we were playing volleyball. You know the volleyball session we had during PT was the first time I felt I learnt the most about playing volleyball? It couldn't even compare to the 3 months of volleyball PE in Nanyang. I learnt how to serve, like really serve well. & standing behind to run forward to get the ball & controlling the direction where the ball went. It was fun playing volleyball :)

Yes, & I played tennis with Jolene for PE. Similarly, the less than 1 hour I spent playing tennis with Jolene was the first time I felt I learnt the most about playing tennis. I kept saying sorry bcoz I kept hitting the ball too far, in the wrong direction and out of the tennis court :X But I actually felt that I was getting the hang of it towards the end. Thank you Jolene :)

I feel very physically active now. You know after playing volleyball, I went home & found that the tanline on arm is more stark now & the best thing was, I think my arm got more muscular! Hahahaha :D On Thu, I was really 全身酸痛. See, this is the result of long periods of physical inacitivity @_@ Arm ache, shoulder ache, back ache, leg ache. Even holding pen to practise for math assignment felt 辛苦. But! These are all good signs :) Coz it's muscle building in progress!

By the way, my tummy fat is no longer an illusion, it's a reality :X My gosh. Last time in Nanyang, we used to jog every PE and every week for PT in SJ. But now... Plus, mugging for blocks made it worse. Pui! Tummy fat :/ Luckily OAC is starting to be more active.

Oh! & good news good news! I've reached my dream height of 1.7m! :) 7 is such a nice perfect number :)

I like my PW group! :) I think the whole fundraising thing helped bond our group together. That time when we were at the ACRES Wildlife Rescue Centre, I said that our group spends most of our time walking than anything else. Haha :D Coz everytime we down to ACRES, we've to walk down & go back out by that long ulu isolated road. But recently, we discovered the free Qian Hu Fish Farm shuttle bus :D

Sometimes I think that technology instead of faciliating human interaction, acts as a barrier from human contact. I'm somehow against mp3 players. I feel that when you're in an environment, you should appreciate the sounds in your surrounding, rather than blasting music that drowns out the outside world. & besides, it spoils your ears :p & I feel that focusing all your attention on your handphone when there are actually ppl in front of you is like an excuse from really interacting with the person. That time, Eleanor, Juat, Shi Hui & I went to town after Chi paper & we were all busy replying smses, then Eleanor was like saying we're all taken over by technology.

Promos is coming in 9 weeks time. I don't think I'll come here anymore in the meanwhile.

Some things in life have no answer. The only solution is to forget and move on.

2008-06-06T00:57:00.001+08:00

这就走了？
时间不留人，该走的总得走。

在我的印象中，仿佛有一种朦胧的什么。然而大家从没有承诺过什么，既无言，也未曾示意。只好任它随着时间的流逝而消杳无踪。

人的一次来回踱步，想要准确到一厘不差地回到原地，本来就不太可能；何况人生的变化！

我们似乎没有很多话说，也许，该说的都已经说完了。也许，要说的也不知道应该怎么说。

再见。

---《别离的故事》摘录

2008-06-03T19:40:00.000+08:00

It seems like every event in OAC helps me to discover something new.

Bike Hike was really interesting! We cycled from ECP down a bridge that overlooked the Marina Bay skyline. Ha, I couldn't help thinking whether Juat will always think of that day whenever she sees the Singapore Flyer. Then, we went to 老巴刹 & I shared Honeydew Sago with Sharlene :) We then cycled past Chinatown area & ended up at Buona Vista. Cycled upslope past Biopolis & had initial D all the way down the meandering downslope. Damn cool! At some parts down the slope, it got quite dark & I just had to rely on the bike lights in front me. Wenqing was like "you don't need to pedal for the next 5 min le". We quite zai :D We overtook 2 groups, but actually we overtook them bcoz they had gear problems.

Afterwhich, we went into Clementi & had stopover at KAP. I thought the break was rather damaging bcoz it made me feel like resting for good & not cycle anymore le. & bcoz we didn't do any warm-ups & the moment we continued cycling, we went upslope almost immediately, my thighs started to have this very strange feeling. It's like each time I step down on the pedal, I can feel my muscles grating past each other. At first, I didn't think much of it, just continued cycling. Then, my muscles just froze. Oh my gosh, it was like the first time in my life I was experiencing leg cramp. I couldn't even get off the bike by myself lah. I tried to apply whatever first aid knowledge I learnt on myself. Stretch. Massage. Apply analgesic balm. At that time, Liping said we only cycled 20km. I was like what!?!? How am I going to finish bike hike when my legs are like this? Then, continued cycling when my thighs felt better. But didn't really dare to cycle fast bcoz I was quite scared I would get back my leg cramp. Felt quite bad x( Bcoz I made everyone wait for me :( The external cycler in my group was like trying to cheer me up. He was like "你爱唱周杰伦的歌吗？" Then, he asked me to sing. Then, I was like "没有气啦!"Finally, caught with the rest of my group in front then Andy cycled behind with me for a while. We attempted screaming & singing random songs. Don't understand why Andy likes to sing high pitched songs. Damn funny. Haha :D After that, I realized that even though singing is 费力气, it helped to keep my spirits up. I'd sing whenever I felt sian (characterized when I start pedaling slowly even when my leg is no longer cramping) or when I felt like falling asleep. Quite a nice feeling & I didn't care whether people behind could hear me :) We cycled through Mandai area with the "imba slopes". Actually, the road in Mandai can be described as undulating. What goes up must come down.

Cycled past Woodlands, Yishun then finally reached Ang Mo Kio at 4.30pm. Which meant we could make it for the full 95km :) If we didn't reach there in time, we'll need to take the 75km route instead. Then, we went Hougang & cycled down Old Tampines Rd. We saw strange UFO like structures. I couldn't tell what it was, could just see its silhouette. Cycling down slope is damn 爽 :) & it's the one of the few times I can keep up with the front people. I just stand on the pedals & slant my whole body forward & the bike will just zoom forward by itself, don't need to use leg power at all :)

Cycled past IKEA Tampines & reached Pasir Ris. Saw the people from the adidas ultra marathon. Then, a heavy downpour started & we took shelter at a bus-stop. Weimin said it's not that good to sleep coz you'll feel like sleeing again when you cycle, so I decided not to. My whole group knocked out though. Ended up calling Juat & Zhen Rui. Apparently, their whole group was quite awake, coz they sat lorry mah! Haha, k no lah :) The funny thing was I can cycle until I get leg cramps, I can also talk on the phone until I get face cramps. Haha :D Then, after that, their group started cycling so I entertained myself by playing 4 Minutes. 4 Minutes is a nice song :) Andy agrees. Actually, it's more of a dance song, the rhythm very strong.

We continued cycling when the rain got lighter. But seriously, rain plus physcial exhaustion is quite a bad combination for cycling. By the time we reached Changi Village, the sun already rose, but I was quite drenched, as in my insides were drenched. My hp & cam got wet too :(

Afterwhich, the journey from Changi Village back to ECP was just 平地. Cycling on 平地 was surprisingly taxing. My dad said that usually the flat terrain part is what differentiates the better cyclers from the mediocre ones. On flat ground, everything is purely leg power & you must keep up to a rhythm. Think it's something like running long distance. Unfortunately, my leg cramps started acting up again, so my rhythm was rather slow :/ You know there are some cycle paths in ECP that are wide & the trees would arch over the pathway forming an inverted U? Damn pretty :) It's like those type of 韩剧风景 :)

Shi Huan was always cycling in front but he started to lag because of leg cramp, so ended up cycling past the 飞机 take off place together. So cool, could hear the loud roar when planes take off. Then, finally reached Macs! :)

Ha, bike hike allowed me to understand more about the brakes & gears [ok, I know I'm noob]. One brake controls the back wheel, so it brakes more slowly. The other brake controls the front wheel, so it brakes more quickly, your bike might flip forward if you're cycling very fast. High gear more 吃力 but takes bigger strides. Low gear less 吃力 but takes smaller strides. So, that's why we use high gear on 平地 & downslopes & low gear for upslopes.

Actually, bike hike was supposed to be a reflective journey but ended up concentrating too much on cycling to think of anything else. Lol. Next year's bike hike should factor in time to take photos at places with 好风景 & should time it to see a sunrise somewhere :)

Just because you don't know something exists doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

2008-05-10T11:20:00.000+08:00

SLOW DANCE

Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask
How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

I think I've started to settle in quite comfortably in JC. However, the thing about JC is that you form a lot of relationships, but most of them are not deep. & you should already have a good idea of what you stand for, bcoz you no longer have the people who define you for who you are around all the time. That time Juat & Eleanor accompanied me back to NY to collect HCL cert & then when we walked back to college, I actually felt more familiar with the college surroundings. Already got used to the fact that life zooms past, that life is constantly on the move, that there is no proper place to mug... & that you can't have your emotionally close friends around you most of the time.

I feel there is a difference between physically and emotionally close friends. Physically close friends are always around, they spend time together & can be good friends too. Emotionally close friends can connect on a deeper level, & even if they don't see each other for some time, they can connect once they start talking, it's like you've known that person for a very long time. There are times when I'd momentarily lapse into the miss-my-good-friends mode, especially when I feel alone even when I'm among a group of people.

Speaking about no proper place to mug, I used to sit at the back of the classroom since sec 3. Haha, I had the corner of the back bench & side bench to myself :) Dump all my things there. Dry my sweat drenched clothes, put my takeaway food... ha, so my desk is empty & nice :) Then, when school ends, most people go home or go for cca, but I stay in class & have the whole classroom to myself! Use the class pc to settle admin stuff, mug, then slowly sort my things & pack my bag before I finally decide to go home before peak hour. Sometimes Flo would be around too, & on free days, we would blast music from the class pc & hide behind the pc to eat. So 幸福 right :)

Ha, show you the horrid state of my table at home.

Rotten lifestyle. Couldn't stand it anymore & got it cleaned up on Labour Day. Sorry no after pics to show :D

Oh ya, there was one day when Juat, Eleanor and I went on this 拍美景 tour around the school. & I took a photo of a pole with many wooden arrow signposts on it. The angle is quite nice :) & the photo represents 转捩点. Yay, Juat sent me the pic already. Here it is :)

I took that pic because I feel that JC is like a 人生转捩点. 4 months out of the 2 years have already passed. So little time & so many things to do. I don't want to leave this school feeling like I haven't achieved much. I don't want to regret bcoz I didn't have the conviction to try

Speaking of 拍美景, I tried to take a pic of the day view & the night view of my neighbourhood from my parents' bedroom window. Quite pro-looking :)

I have also been doing some baking. Here are the brownies which I baked with my aunt's help for our PW's SL fundrasing project. Tried distributing it to as many people as possible but Charlton actually said I was campaigning :p Anyway, must 多多光顾 k! Because after all, it's for charity :) For ACRES & the Singapore Zoo specifically, wildlife conservation :)

----

不明白，不懂得。起码我知道我尝试过。人徘徊太久，心会感到疲惫。最终，只被麻木的逞强所取代。惋惜~

2008-03-16T17:43:00.000+08:00

I seriously need to clear ALOT of homework now but I shall blog anyway, as a closing to YLTC, since it has taken up the past one month of my life.

OAC made me understand the feeling of exercising till you cry. While we were clearing group counts on the last pre camp session before meet ex, our group did static pose while waiting for each person to frog jump for our last acitivity. Static pose was really killer, must train up on ab & arm muscle so I can do it properly next time. For the frog jump part, instructor Weimin was doing it with me, it's like 一边跳, 一边哭. It's like your leg is cramping so much & you 死硬 contiune jumping. Don't know why I felt so weak that day, maybe too tired, too hungry.

For YLTC, somehow the activities we did was not as painful as the time we cleared group counts. It is more physically demanding than sj camps in the sense that the physical exertion is a long drawn out one. As for the discipline part, still think sj camp is stricter. I hope it still is. 很久没有回去看看, don't really know what state sj is in. Actually quite worried, coz my standard can only just make it for this camp, then if my juniors join this type of cca next time don't know whether they can cope or not. For now in OAC, only Zijia and I & Debbie from St Nic's are from sj. YLTC was interesting in the sense that you only can survive with limited group commodities & ha, didn't manage to shampoo my hair, wash myself with soap - not even rinsing myself with water so had floor water & sea water & sweat all stuck on me, brush my teeth, comb my hair with a comb for the whole camp, wow :)

To me, the highlight of the camp was meal times! I love 笑眯眯! 笑眯眯 rocks lah. I don't why my groups' seniors detest 笑眯眯 so much. The food tastes so good everyday :) Even helped to eat other people's food. Think my appetite turned humongous after the camp. Must start to moderate myself again, lest I get back my stomach disease. Sometimes I wonder whether things would have been better if I didn't miss the 2 days of orientation with my CT bcoz of my illness... Anyway, my dad was in Hwa Chong OAC last time, he said he was from Comanches & that he 瘦下来 after the camp. Yah, so afraid that I would become thinner, I just kept eating, & we also need food for energy :)

The most memorable time was kayaking. Hoxy and I were double kayaking when we crashed into Andy & made him capsize. I think he even hit his head on the bow of our kayak before he went underwater. Ha, we felt quite bad after that eventhough he said it's fun that he gets to capsize in real life. We didn't really learn rescue drill then so we were a little 束手无策. I think Yu Rong rescued him in the end. You know I actually thought learning rescue drill was just a routine procedure, never really thought it could happen in a real life scenario. Started to take kayaking more seriously after that. And, because we were trying to rescue Andy who was from another group, our group ended up kayaking away without us. While making our way back to our group's destination, there was one point when it was raining so heavily, the rainwater was hurting our eyes, & the current was so strong, & the worst thing was we didn't see any kayak in sight. We kept banging into the bridge & I seriously reckoned we might just capsize & be left to flounder alone in the river. Ha, & we were desperately trying to make the sharp turn back into the jetty but the current kept pushing us back. It really felt like kayaking not for a skill but kayaking to keep our lives. Think Hoxy was quite 倒霉 to have me as her partner, coz I can't control direction, but going through a life-and-death situation together is fun. For the 2nd day, we wisened up a little & did sea expedition with our caps so our eyes won't hurt if it rains. Was using single kayak & I was lagging behind for most parts of the expedition largely because I can't control the direction, kept kayaking s shape. I was literally scolding the paddle lah. Seniors kept saying "jia you, I know you can do it!" Finally reached Singapore Flyer :) Actually it doesn't look that tall, how is it possible that it can overlook Singapore? Ha, Li Fern actually didn't know we were kayaking to see Singapore Flyer coz she was concentrating so hard on kayaking, she didn't look up at all :p I finally got the hang of kayaking straight after we turned back from Singapore Flyer. The trick is not to concentrate on your strokes but on the bow & your destaintion. Imagine there is a straight line between the bow of your kayak & the destination, then paddle naturally, something like 靠感觉, to make sure you maintain that straight line. Was quite 感动 when I got to see the front people I didn't see at the start of the expedition, it's like wahh, finally managed to catch up with you all. Like, oh man, I can kayak after all.

Land expedition let me realize that the songs that I know are quite backward xp Very long never update myself with new music le.

Think the Shawnees grand ex-es quite imba. Feel quite 逊色 to them in comparison. They were like saying how Shawnees got best spirited group for the past 2 years, but at the moment when they said it, I just know we couldn't, I mean it was like the last night already. Must really 加把劲 in the future to keep the tradition. Aaron/ Qi Han was chief instructor. Han Yuan (?) was assistant chief instructor. Eric/ Jun Jie was treasurer. All from exco one. Wow. Li Fern & I were saying how much Han Yuan looks like Jiin Shiuan. For one moment, I really thought she was Jiin Shiuan. & Jiin Shiuan was from Shawnees too! 太巧了. I can imagine how pro she would be if she was still in OAC but too bad she isn't in OAC le.

Group members: Wei Ming - random 黄城 person. Han Wen - sings 红蜻蜓 in a very communist way. Wei Chang - the pro scouts person, help us with all the knots tying & map reading stuff. Yi Ding - who always says gg liao. Eileen - the zi high person. Hoxy - the talkative person, good need such people around, reminds me of Konge. Jasmine - also very random & keeps talking about her anime stuff. Li Fern - my group buddy :)
Group instructors: Jacky/ Zheng Yu, Junice/ Ying Hui
Rovers: Rachel/ Yiling, Yu Feng, Weimin
Ex-es: Luo Jia Min, Shi Xian, Liyi, Guan Hui
One Shawnees :)

Happy Belated Juat! :) Don't understand why she doesn't want us to sing bday song for her.

All in all, YLTC was a good experience :) Sometimes you realize the things you can do only when you push youself to the limit.

I haven't heard my real voice for a uber long time already :( So sad, can't sing, can't cheer. Throat infection go away...

不想懂得
张韶涵

当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐
拥有了同时也失去什么
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟心开始曲折
我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
互相照顾就是幸福的

当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐
拥有了同时也失去什么
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟心开始曲折
我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什么
我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是感动的

我愿意一秒钟放弃全宇宙
现在只我们紧靠的小星球

我多不舍得多不懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
能握着手就是感动的

I think it's quite traumatizing to find out that what you always thought to be so turns out to be not.

Guess that's all I want to say for now. So long for now...

2008-02-08T17:28:00.000+08:00

Finally back from North India!

It's really late now but I shall update anyway bcoz I may not find the time to do so again.

I don't where to start writing.

K, shall talk about the time we went back to NY to collect O level results. Before the results were announced, Mrs Wong, our ex-HOL, was like "NY girls do you miss NY?" & then we chorused "Yes!!!!" Then, she said shakily," When I came back to NY on the 1st day of school, I didn't see you girls around, I felt an utter sense of loss." Wah, at that moment I really felt like crying. Half of me was crying out to go back home. Only NY felt like home.

Fast forward to 407 BBQ on some random Fri. We went to Paul Tan's Euphony Gardens condo in Sembawang for class gathering. Managed to see Mr Khong as well :) It was a really nice gathering; it helped put a lot of things into perspective hearing what people had to say about JC. We started singing all the hc college songs, saying the hc cheers & doing fac dance :) Think JC made us "high-er" people.

The most important thing which JC has taught me is to be open & respect people's ideas & decisions. The social aspect in JC is quite big as well. But that's what makes it exciting :) Guess what? I'm actually starting to like JC, as in there are things that I can look forward to each day, that motivate me to keep going.

Umm, but there are occasional lapses though. Sophia is leaving our CT :( Coz she taking China Studies instead of Econs. She'll most likely end up in 08S79, which is actually like next to our CT bench. Was quite sad bcoz I don't have much close friends in class to start with, ha, was starting to squeak & make weird noises, happened to see Celia, then I just bao4. Sometimes I wonder whether it's the CT or just me. I rather think that it's just me then at least there's room for improvement. Kyna said there's comfort in dissimilarity & I know that I must give my CT time, even my mortal says so. Aiyee... but things aren't too bleak, they're generally improving :)

I think it's funny how I really started to bond with my OG when orientation is over. Really like our OG :) Hope we get to go kbox or something. Heh.

I love Ares fac dance alot! I always get excited about it. It's like everytime we finish dancing through the whole song, you really feel like "Whooo!" Fac dance sessions give you endorphin rush :)

OAC's not bad, haha :D & they're OG people inside! Not sure whether Eileen or Shin Yi are really joining. Hope we start on real training soon though, bcoz don't really feel like I'm learning or getting trained. I went for taekwondo during Dec hols & I actually find taekwondo more tiring can.

You know I was thinking what if I were to take Geog, China Studies, Math & Econs? Think it would be quite a breeze, coz they're my type of subjects. But these humanities subjects are mainly exercising my memory skills, so taking sciences can train my brain in areas which I don't normally exercise. My aunt was saying you take a subject not for the content matter but for the thinking skills that you'll get trained in. So, I should think BCME is quite a balanced combi. So, shall just stick to it :) Trivia: H1 MTL is equivalent to Sec 2 Higher Chi standard. But I'm still taking MTL though, to 保持联系. Yep, & must get A or else very 对不起我自己, must maintain standard.

V day coming! Presents for angel & mortal :) Shin Yi, Eileen, Kyna & I are exchanging V day ice cream on that day :) Coz we happened to drop by the booth together. Don't know how I'm supposed to eat 3 cones of ice cream xp

Jia you me! The future will be brigher! My throat will be better!

2007-12-24T10:50:00.000+08:00

Although North India has majestic monuments & breathtaking scenery (at some points), everything seems overshadowed by its poverty. Mangled electric wires, rubbish heaped along the roads, grimy buildings & dusty vehicles. The most frightening moment was the visit to Fatephur Sikiri (a monument built by a king to fufill a promise he made to some person who helped his wife bear him an offspring). There was a slum dwelling next to the monument & the whole time we were there, we were swarmed by so many hawkers & people asking for tips.

The most amazing moment was to find that a pair of fake-o but classy looking earrings were going for 2500 rupees. That works out to be S$100! 你要开价也要自知之明啊。

The trip to N. India must have been the oddest trip I've been so far. There are days where we just travel & travel - whether by boat (shikara), car (taxi), bus or plane. Even eating dinner at 11pm & sleeping at 2am plus on some days...

There are all sorts of transportation there - camels, ponies. & there are random cows, dogs, goats & pigs along the streets.

I feel that India is visibly poorer than China (I mean by comparing their 2 capitals.) China has more coastal land & has alot of foreign investments, businesses keep expanding, big buildings keep getting constructed. N. India is a hinterland (landlocked) & everything seems to be internal - as in there seems to be only trade interstate. Think mainly Bangalore & Mumbai get the foreign investments.

N. India is quite chaotic. In New Delhi, I was quite astounded that the vehicles could actually traverse at a 十字路口 without traffic lights. Quite a lot of roads there don't have lane markings. Vehicles just lump forward together.

The tour guide said that to drive in India, all you need is a good horn & 2 other things which I can't remember. The way motorists use the horn is like that of a bell in a bicycle. Motorists horn when they are trying to warn others they are overtaking, hurry the person in front, & I reckon just horn for fun when they are pissed so everyone sounds like they're part of a symphony. Ha :D You know some big trucks even have words painted on their backs that say "Please Horn." Ya.

You know my luggage which I've been using for the past 4 years nearly got disintegrated by all the handling in the airports. They transport the luggage manually. When I was in Kashmir, the worker was putting the luggage in one by one into a trolley to be driven to the plane where it is loaded in. Had a crack down the side & on the front. & one wheel got ripped off from the luggage, leaving a gaping hole. Ended up with masking tape plastered all over my luggage. Ha, bought an Indian luggage as a souvenir though :D To replace the spoilt one.

Think what I really gained from this trip is the importance of money. Everywhere I look is the need & lack of money glaring right at my face.

In Srinagar (predominantly Muslim place), summer capital of Kashmir, the sound of prayers reveberate from loud hailers in the mosques. It goes something like "Allah.....". Was actually a little uncomfortable with it, but after the 2nd day, I got accustomed to the smell of incense burning, sound of prayers (Muslims here pray 5 times a day), etc. Think this is called acclimatization. It's a natural reaction for people to adapt to their surroundings after a while.

The trip in India was haphazard but interesting :) Our tour group was made of mainly a gang of middle-age & senior citizens from the church of holy trinity, my family & another family with people from RJ. Being in this tour group was heartwarming, think it was because the bunch of church friends were very affable, sing in the bus & share their tidbits & snacks with everyone. Never went with a tour group this nice (ah, that is of course excluding eoy programme lah). Heh.

Hope next time when I go to India it'll be a better place :)

2007-11-30T10:30:00.000+08:00

I saw more than 80 egrets today :) Egrets look like thin long - graceful - ducks. I was amazed to see so many egrets at one go because I rarely see them. Apparently, egrets are very common to Mell Yeo & Kyna.

Time passes much faster with sabbats and 天国的阶梯 :) Quite good, I should think. Next week, we will be having squad chalet then I will be going overseas afterwards. By the time I come back, half of December will be over. Wow. Honestly, I thought this was a good thing, but I don't know why as I write, this sour feeling keeps building up in me. Strange.

Do you know next year is a period of great change? My sis & I are both going to new schools. My maid of 12 years is going back to the Philippines for good. & my math tuition teacher is migrating to England. Wow.

It's quite amazing how I've been limiting myself to Coro & KAP for the past 4 years of my NY life. Ha, perhaps it's due to Xinyu always insisting to eat lemon chicken rice. It seems the people in my sabbats know alot of places to eat. During the time when we had sabbats in school, Hwee Yanne & Qiu Ting brought me to eat at Barry and Hoagie's in Beauty World & I ate with Mell Yeo at Curry Wok and Kyna at Thai Noodle House in Coronation Arcade. The Ruby Dessert in Thai Noodle House is nice & cheap :) It's funny that I've only discovered these places when I'm no longer in NY. Never mind, they are potential food destinations during JC.

NTU is cool, although NUS is cooler than NTU coz it's renovated. It's like one whole self-relying community by itself. But actually, I think Nanyang is like that, just a much scaled down version. Ooh, & there're lots of hostels, of varying quality. Some look like office buildings, some like old HDB flats & the better ones look like chalets! So fun! I think when I go to uni I will stay in a hostel. Travelling to NTU takes me more than an hour!! Why are all the unis in the west? K, actually I know the answer, just asking for the sake of asking. Because there is space for a large campus. 自问自答. I have kind of decided, I want to do double degree - Business & Psychology. Think that combi is quite standard, but... for now it's like that. Oh! Yes yes yes. The Chinese Heritage Centre at NTU & the mini park in front of it reminds me of Beijing!

&!! I tell you! 30 min makes a lot of difference during peak hour! When I took mrt to Boon Lay yesterday at 8.30am from Outram, the train was considerably empty for that hour & I got a place to sit. When I took mrt to Boon Lay today at 8am from Outram, the train was so crowded, I only got a chance to sit when I was at Jurong East. Think because office hours start at 8.30am.

People say good point when they never thought of that idea before. People say good question when they are baffled for an answer.

Some quotes just sound nice, some quotes makes you think, but the best quotes are those that motivate you to do something.

Although it probably wasn't meant for me, thank you :)

2007-11-12T14:45:00.000+08:00

I have been battling all sorts of illnesses for the past 2 weeks. Throat infection, then stomach cramps, stomach flu, then fever. Thought it was strange that my health took a turn for the worse when I am just into my hols. Thankfully, things are looking up though I've migraines everyday. Sometimes I wonder whether I have some intestinal or neurological disorder. My mum says that I'm hypochondriac. Which means you imagine so much till your body actually starts feeling like you have all these illnesses. Still remember when you study first aid manual too much, you start thinking maybe I have this illness or that illness. On hindsight, actually find it quite funny.

Read tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom & it triggered quite a lot of thoughts in me.

In the book, there was this old professor (Morrie) who was dying from some terminal illness & he spends his tuesdays with his favorite student (Mitch), discussing the meaning of life as he approached the end of his life journey.

Late last year, I started thinking what would happen if I were to die suddenly? I seriously reckoned life would still go on easily without me. Think it's a fact of life. Ha, everytime I sit on a plane, I will always get myself mentally prepared that I might die. I also strap my seat belt when I'm in the car. Ha, just in case I get into some car accident. Actually, this is a habit influenced by Eli. Everytime I hitch a ride in her father's car, she would always strap on her seat belt.

Morrie had a living funeral before his body really started falling apart. He thought it was silly how people would say all the good things about someone only when he wasn't there to hear it at his funeral. So, he held a living funeral for himself. People would write poems dedicated to him and tell him what they appreciated about him. Think I'll actually use this idea if I know I'm dying.

& do you know what materialism is all about? People are so hungry for love that they start to accept substitutes. However, material goods, unlike love, don't bring satisfaction.

I was quite taken aback when I heard that we need others to survive. My first reaction was, "Oh my gosh! Irony! What is it about survival of the fittest, competition & ranking?" After some thought though, I got what Morrie was trying to say. This idea suddenly puts the people around you in a very different light.

Photos are a desperate attempt to steal from something that might cease to exist. I think it's something like Kyna's engraved rings. But maybe it's more like capturing the moment. Don't really have to portray it so dismally.

I like coincidences :) Because fate decrees it. I always think... maybe next time I might get to know this person better just that our current social situation doesn't really make it possible. But that will need another coincidence.

K, now this is not related to the book, it's related to 天国的阶梯 (Korean show, Sun, 2-4pm). Boomberangs are very cool! Chengjun was standing by the seashore & he threw a red thing towards the sea. Moments later, it came back to him. I asked my mum what it was. She said it was a boomberang & that all boomberangs when thrown (properly) always come back. The whole idea behind a boomberang shook me. If something is meant to return, it will return eventually, no matter how far it went.

人们有缘才相遇。

(This is random.) There are times when I look at Singapore's development & I will just feel like thanking Mr Lee Kuan Yew. Yah, I know there were other people along the way, but he envisioned the impossible for us when we were just nothing. When I was younger, visited Australia & understood the concept of migration, I wanted to migrate because I was into cold weather & nice scenery. I can't really remember when & how I started to become more patriotic. I still like cold weather & nice scenery but the idea of migrating is more faraway now. Anyway, not every other country has the type of safety that Singapore enjoys, right?

I think a person at birth is like a piece of blunt metal. Our experience moulds us into something sharper, like a knife. A knife as compared to a blunt piece of metal is able to effect greater change & give back to society.

We shall end with an allegory of death:

A little wave is bobbing along the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind & the fresh air - until he notices the other waves, in front of him, crashing against the shore.
Wave 1 says to himself, "My gosh, this is terrible. Look what's going to happen to me."
Wave 2 asks, "Why do you look so sad?"
Wave 1 replies, "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't it terrible?"
Wave 2 says, "No, you don't understand. You're not a wave. You're part of the ocean."

2007-11-01T08:50:00.000+08:00

On the last day of school, we watched a 30 min long photo montage about the past 2 years we spent as a class in NY. Afterwhich, there was this sharing session where everyone had to sit in a circle & take turns to say their farewell & thank you speech to the class. Don't know, think because it was the last day of school & the atmosphere, but everyone in class was crying (except for Mr Tan perhaps, ha, but maybe he was crying inside). My gosh.

Hmm... still remember in the morning I told Jolynn, "This is our last assembly in this school."
Jolynn replied, "This may be the last assembly for us but this is not the last assembly in school."
Felt very thought provoking.

During the sharing session, what triggered me most was when Marie said,"Although I am not very attached to this class, I was happy here." Besides my good friends in class, I must admit not being very attached to the rest, but yah, I'm happy. Proud of 407 :) Proud to be in 407 :) Glad to have Giulia in class :)

Mr Khong is leaving! :'(

Actually, I surprised myself by crying. I'm not type that will cry when I'm sad. I'm a bottler. I just keep everything inside & slowly remove everything away by concentrating on work (maybe that's why I appear hardworking :p ha, no, I am because I 勤能补掘. some people get good grades quite easily, but Steffi can only get good grades if she studies & studies). I only cry when I get agitated into laughing. & the laugh will gradually result to crying. Ha.
HELLO! Is my HELLO very weird? Ha, Chai Ping agitated me when she said "learning how to say Steffi's hello" Ha :D

Of course, I never forgot 202 :)

I think what I will miss most in Nanyang is
1) The people
2) The school culture
3) The beautiful school building (no other school is comparable! hahaha :D)

Sorry, I think I'm a little incoherent now because I rushing out this post but anyway, I think the following song (very nice!) eptomizes the whole mood. Yay, & I'm going to release my Remember NY photo collection! Must go & see! (Wait first, I load later, a lot of people are queuing to use the pc at home) It's Steffi's version of the coffee table book! Haha :D Frankly, the coffee table book as in the official NY one is very nice :) A work of art :) Shin Yi & Val very lucky (that pic was very nice)! Eileen also! Boo, but sad they removed the cpr pic, I thought it was nice.

-------

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know

I walked across an empty land,
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand.
I felt the earth beneath my feet,
Sat by the river and it made me complete.
Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.

I came across a fallen tree,
I felt the branches; are they looking at me?
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know.

Oh, simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So, tell me when you gonna let me in,
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
SO if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, so why don't we go,
Hmmm yeahh,

This could be the end of everything.
So why don't we go, somewhere only we know,
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know.

-------

I found out that the only time The Graduation Song by Vitamin C doesn't sound cliched is when it's really your last day of school (26 Oct 07).

See you on 15 Aug 2017! Nanyang's 100th anniversary. Heh, that year will also be NYSJ's 50th anniversary.

2007-10-12T06:34:00.000+08:00

Hello! I'm in school now. The wind was blowing very strongly just now :D Please rain :) You know the boredom that sets in after exams is scary. You need something useful to do, that you can grab on to, so you can have some bearings in your life.

Most people in class have gone home but the school is still quite noisy. Wonder what the people in school are doing... Are they preparing for EOY programme? Haha, learning Shava Shava last year was fun! I can still remember most of the actions & sing the song :p Flo is a good dance teacher :)

We went to K box after EOYs yesterday. We actually intended to watch movies, but we couldn't decide on one so in the end we went to K box. I was apprehensive about going to K box at first. & K box really looked like a KTV lounge (okay, duhh...). Looked like those type of KTV lounges where people get drunk & all those bad things happen. Haha, but K box was surprisingly fun. Never went to sing karoke before :) I felt quite dead after Integ Maths, didn't feel particularly exhilarated that exams were over, just neutral. I had a migraine after that. I told Celia I was going through pressure release. In Geog, we learn that rocks which were originally under pressure, after having the pressure removed, undergo pressure release where they start sheeting. But!! K box was fun! Singing karoke is one of the best ways to get high :) So no longer felt that dead :) & K Lunch (some package at K box) was quite cheap. You pay $13 for an obento set, a drink & a few hours of karaoke. Tee hee, I have a bit of sore throat today, maybe because I sang too much for too long x)

Hmm... so now there is only HCL Os to work towards to. Ha, I don't have anything scheduled from 1 Nov to 19 Nov coz my sabbats start late. Dou, think I'll most likely be signing up for classes. Maybe learn tennis or dance. Eli suggested learning kayaking.

Sometimes, I wonder whether you still blame me. Somehow those things I did come back to haunt me like a nightmare. But, I just know I did what I felt was right at that point in time. I will get over it. I hope you get over it too. Ha, but who knows? Maybe you already have. That's good!

I like my morn jogs :) Ha, we started the morn jogs thing for exams coz Jolynn read in Reader's Digest that exercise aids your memory. Heh, & we've been recruiting people into our "running club" xp Now, we do morn jogs to keep fit, 反正we don't have much to do these days.

Why has the wind stopped blowing?

2007-09-22T14:34:00.000+08:00

Ha, currently my class is in this reminisce mode. Everything is like "Last Bio lesson, last Humans lesson, last PE lesson, may be one of the last times we're walking here together." Being sentimental stirs up a lot of 回忆，而回忆的感觉酸酸的. Yet at the same time, there are exams that warrant more attention & greater concentration. Yah, exams are important.

Class 407
Sec 4 '2007
47th Graduation Ceremony
Hahaha :D
好巧哦...

2007-08-12T01:49:00.000+08:00

Hello! I went for NDP on Thu :) Kyna said I am very patriotic because I actually look forward to National Day. Heh, I'm not only patriotic to the country, I'm patriotic to the school too! I wore ninetee :) Wonderful Steffi actually forgot to charge her camera eventhough she knew she was going to watch NDP the next day. But we managed to revive the camera for a while to take some pics. This year's NDP was quite impressive, with all the pyrotechnics (it means "fireworks", went to check up the meaning :]) & laser beams. The military display was quite eye-opening as well. The boat that is able to travel very fast through water seems like it's lightly gliding past the water surface. Normal boats generate a lot of waves when they cut through water but this boat only generates ripples on the water surface. Wahh... & the good thing about this year's NDP is that it includes more people as in, everyone in the Marina Bay area was part of the festivities somehow, whether be it just watching the fireworks from Esplanade Bay or from the hotel room. I even saw people standing on Shear's bridge. However, impressive as it was, I think this year's NDP failed to touch the heart. Maybe it were the songs... They were all so impossibly high-pitched! They are actually quite singable on TV, but at the parade, they all sang Soprano or Bass :( How to sing? I was practically screaming trying to sing the song... & maybe also because the seating gallery didn't loop around the stage, you cannot bounce off the energy from the other side... & the human mass displays... a bit of a letdown? & the sad choir, they're just chucked at one corner. Don't know what they really did the whole time. Ohh, didn't see SJ on duty, think it is because the army has sufficient manpower, the older stadium accomodated an audience size many times larger than this new stadium, so I guess that's why SJ is not on duty this year. But anyway, I like the marchpast :) I always like marchpasts :) The armswings are always so amazing.

Cheesecakes are nice :)

Cross country! If given the chance, I want to run again & at least get a finishing position (I narrowly missed the last few position cards). Then at least I would know the route (as in the terrain) & pace myself better. Next time when running, shouldn't think that I'm tired, that will seriously slow you down because this type of long distance running is really just mind over body. Should think that I can do it! I can do it! Don't care whether you will faint or not. Whether you faint, can talk about that later, most importantly - must finish the race at best possible timing. Yea...

Anyway, there is a small bee hive hanging from a leaf in a tree in my house. Bee hives are disgusting x) Sorry. But I really can't stand all the holes in the bee hive. Gives me the heebie jeebies. Bees like me.

My pc can't connect (after it was revived) to my printer or any other external devices like a camera. I got pics from NDP! Oh well ~ But at least it let's me come to blogger now.

I have a wonderful oven too! Most people take about 7 -9 mins to bake cookies, maybe even longer than that. But my oven would start catching fire when it's not even 3 mins. So it's like, must change the recipe to suit the temperamental oven.

In Paulo Coelho's The Alchemist (Sec 2 lit text), the author mentioned something about the conspiracy theory. When you want something so much, it seems as if the whole world is helping you to achieve your goal. This theory is proven ok! I like the conspiracy theory :)

In shou3 zu2 (can't seem to find the language bar), Shuiling said "Wise people talk less & do more." Though she said it in a very mean way, but I think that's quite true. Actions speak the loudest.

I won't be around for quite some time again... Wish you all good luck in everything you do!

2007-07-02T09:25:00.000+08:00

I never got to sleep more than 7h straight in the days succeeding the camp. Along the way home on the bus, I kept rereading the sms I wanted to send out to Jing Yi from NP, bcoz I kept falling asleep while I was typing the message, so I had to check what I had already written again & again. When I went back home, the 1st thing I did was plop down on the bed & sleep even though I haven’t bathed the night before. I woke up 3h later only to be transfixed in a dream-like state. I kept thinking I was still in the middle of some triage & there were things which I had to do. It took me 30 min to realize that camp was already over & I had nothing to do. All I had to do was eat my dinner, bathe & go back to sleep. Guess I was still quite zoned out from camp, did everything (unpack my bag & prepare bag for the next day) in a snail-like pace & finally went to bed at 12 something. Had to wake up early the next morning for leadership sharing forum.

During camp, my voice already started to be hoarse after being D.O. on the 1st day. Ate lozenges at night but still continued shouting anyway. During parade rehearsals, I realized that my voice hadn’t recovered from camp & it was dying. My mum said that I will wake up one day & find that no sound will come out from my mouth. So, I resorted to all sorts of means to get my voice back. Abstain from spicy food and chocolates. Avoid talking & shouting. Suck lozenges. Drank all sorts of things & made myself eat watermelon (even though I don’t really like it). Gargled salt water every night. Thank you Xinyu for loyally making pi pa gao for me to drink every day & your lozenges. Thank you Eli for your lozenges. Thank you Char for your chrysanthemum tea. Thank you Ma’am for your honey green tea & reminding me on the correct way to project my voice. & thank you squadmates for being my voice/ amplifier. Ha :D

I had insomnia the day before the parade. Slept at 12 something but woke up at 4 & kept waking up since. Was trying to make myself go back to sleep until it was 5.30am. I had this fear that I would oversleep.

You will find that 1 year passes very quickly & before you know it, it is already over. & we would wonder how much we had actually done for SJ. Time was running out & opportunities for us to do anything were few. We realized that the last things we could do was to at least have a good camp & a good parade. The time when my 依依不舍的感觉was the strongest was right after we broke camp. Had that kind of can’t-believe-it’s-all-over-…不要 feeling. Afterwards, everything just carried on mechanically like clockwork from then.

Do you know that my life in school revolves around CCA? When I was in sec 1, SJ was the reason why I liked going to school & made me feel like “Yay! Nanyang is a nice school!” & 70% or more of my thoughts circle around SJ related matters, whether be it good thoughts, bad thoughts, or the things which I had to do. Asking me stop suddenly is like taking out a whole chunk of my life.

Heh, tell you a bit about my sec school life story. When I just came to NY, I wasn’t in the good books of any teacher, ha, maybe excluding 麦老师. He is very nice & cute :) Too bad he 转校了. & Mrs Heng would feedback that I need to talk louder during presentations. Ha, & I always 被sec 4 NCOs骂. I remember that time in the Jun Hols, the nice Jia Hui san would stay back & teach me how to tie the different bandages. I think the training camp in sec 1 was the breaking point. I realized that I couldn’t continue like that & I told myself that for the next camp, cannot let myself 被骂得狗血淋头. Gradually, the desire of not wanting to get scolded became something more like I must push myself to give my best in everything I do. I guess being in a strict & rigorous CCA changes people drastically. SJ helped me to grow & shaped my thinking to be the kind of person that I am now. When I became an NCO, I also wanted people to feel that SJ helped them change & grow. When I came to sec 4, I became more pragmatic & 学聪明了一点. Cannot just blindly push yourself in everything you do, but must work smart also. Then, it’ll be something like 事半功倍 :)

Must strive to have a sense of purpose in life, 这样生活才会有意义. There is a start & end to everything. & life still goes on. Just like how it was when seniors leave the school. Time will gradually fill the emptiness in our hearts with other things. Yea.

I thought I was crazy when I finally decided to let that bear sleep on my bed. That bear was like a silent reminder of all the things which I promised I would do. I was thinking, “How to fall asleep like that?” That bear still remained on my bed anyway. Over time, that bear became a source of comfort when I felt alone or when the going went tough. Yay, like that bear :D Although it looks like the bear which I saw in some flu medicine ad in the past. Hee xp

Juniors 要加油!!

2007-06-06T10:59:00.000+08:00

Hello. This is a very nice computer :) & the this page actually loaded instantaneously! Back at home, it would take longer than 15 min & I would still be waiting for the page to load. Anyway, it has been 3 months & what happened over the past term is no longer as vivid as it used to be in my memory...

Hmm...let's see...

There was one week where we had Kwong Wai Shiu Hospital walkathon in MacRitchie. I don't know what happened to me but anyway, I think I had food poisoning. Felt like vomitting, but yet couldn't... Had stomachache as well. Didn't take part in the walkathon at the end, was just aching in pain in the ambulance aka the first aid post. The pain didn't go away after a long while, so they brought me to the clinic in Mt. Alvernia hospital. Strangely, the moment they started the engine, the pain in my stomach went away. Felt quite bad that the money which I raised in my walkathon card will be probably used to pay for my medical bills x(

Subsequently in the next week, I came down with a fever, in years. It was the day after NAPFA. But actually, I was already feeling flu-ish on NAPFA aka HCL paper day. Was sneezing until my throat hurt. 2 days later, when I went to school, I think about 6 people were absent in my class. And among the ppl who came to class, I think about 2/3 were down with some sort of illness. Think there was some mini epidemic spreading in our class. Ha :D & we happened to be learning about Public Health then :p

For my NAPHA, I didn't get gold! It spoilt my record! Rahh~ All because of that one cursed D, I had A for everything else. !?!?! But it's partly my fault, while preparing for NAPFA the weeks before, I sort of neglected my inclined pull ups. Calean says that after UGs had to scrap corporal punishment, our arm strength has probably deteriorated.

Do you know that alot of things in NAPFA is more or less dependent on the technique which we use? Ya, but your physical fitness should be there of course :) For my NAPFA, Xinyu told me must make sure my feet is against the wall, but I think the tester shifted the inclined pull up structure too far away from the wall such that when I was doing halfway, my feet was no longer against the wall. lalalala worst of all, there was only one try. When I asked the teacher whether I could re-take inclined pull ups, he just told me to have a good weekend :(

For sabbaticals, I took adaptive resilience training & fencing.

Some people think that Mr Teo is too money-minded. I don't think so. It's just plainly - he has a goal & he has gone all out to attain it. Albeit his goal is probably a little too extreme? But to have the determination & passion to make your goal a reality is something worthy of our admiration. But anyway, I'm quite interested at the idea of an alternative source of income! Money has the magic of compounding :) I broke the yellow and the blue brick! Not the red brick though... Mr Teo said I was using the wrong technique... Hee... couldn't really write properly for the next two days bcoz my hand would ache if I press it too hard against the table.

Is Rain really that matured? What about all those bad press? Maybe they were purely bad press, bcoz in that 20 min interview which we watched, he really seemed very polite & courteous. Anyway, I like the song It's Raining :)

I like fencing! I like the stance pose, think it looks very professional :) Although everyone's inner thigh muscle was aching after the 1st day & all the subsequent days after that, but that type of body ache is the type that brings you satisfaction. Remember suffering is fun? Ha, that was something I used to say :) But it's not a sadist mindset ok, it's only with suffering can you train yourself to be a better person.

There is a difference between being nice and being good.

Ha, like Hanakimi & the twins dragon show :) The twins dragon show (shuang1 long2 zhuan4) probably sounds foreign to you, don't think many people watch it. But lin2 feng1(main character in twins dragon show) 's acting is better than those nan2 zhu2 jiao3 in hanakimi. That's true! The songs in hanakimi are nice though. That time when I was running a fever, had dizzy spells. But after playing the hanakimi songs, I felt better :) Think because they are all happy songs :) I was lucky such that after watching central affairs 2, I got to watch the Hanakimi dvd, then the twins dragon show became nicer after weeks of showing (how timely), & now there is yuan2 dian3 to watch. How fortunate to nice shows one after another :) Haha.

If you ever go to Vila'ge, try the ham & cheese savoury crepes k! Really very yummy :) Nice, warm & chewy crepe :) The crepe is made in the same way as a waffle, more or less.

The idea of a qiu1 qian1 is very shi1 qing2 hua4 yi4 :) The theme song of yuan2 dian3:

荡秋千来回终究要停在原点
望太远眼前幸福却忽略
晃半圈圆不了爱恋
高一遍低一遍
风就吹散了永远
还想为你摇秋千对着夕阳扮鬼脸
若月光再美一点我们会否把手牵
还想被你碎碎念当数流星的配乐
你却说你等不到天亮
空秋千陪整夜

-------

Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible.

*faith, passion, trust

Tata for now~

2007-03-11T15:48:00.000+08:00

Wow, I finally managed to get into this page. I think blogger hates me coz everytime I want to post, it'll somehow malfunction then I'll just think that it's God's way of telling me that I shouldn't be using this now. But since I haven't blogged for 3 months, then it shouldn't be, I guess :p During this period of hiatus, I didn't even write in my diary. It's quite scary coming to think of it that I just let my life pass like that without penning down a single thing.

After I came back from South Africa , I suffered from jet lag for about 1 to 2 weeks. I was in a dazed state when I came to school & yet I couldn't fall asleep at night. So I resorted to having long afternoon naps, something which I don't normally do :) & there was also the frantic rush to finish leftover holiday homework & prepare for cca orientation. After all the madness, life was still very fast paced but I was in a clearer state of mind. Not very sure why but after the holidays, I feel more self-assured, probably due to all those self help books which I borrowed to read. I no longer feel as doubtful about myself. When I was in sec 3, I questioned almost every single thing I did. I guess you can say I'm very perfectionistic & self critical. But ya, things aren't so bad now & I kind of know what's more important in life now.

One thing I learnt about priortizing is that you don't just simply do the things in your priorty list in chronological order. That is not plausible unless you have all the time in the world. Priortizing is really identifying what you think is important to you. Failure to succeed in these main priorities will bring about the most dissatisfaction in your life. Priortizing means that in order to make these main priorities work out you're willing to sacrifice other aspects of your life.

Hee, during this period of time, I had a cranky computer, I pierced my ears & I wore contact lenses.

Having a cranky computer meant that I couldn't do alot of computer related assignments at home. So I stayed back on most days to use the computer in school to finish my hw. In a sense, this was good change. Because it meant that by the time I got home, I'd have already accomplished some things in school. So when I get home, I could focus on the hard copy hw, which is a good thing because hard copy hw, like worksheets, often involve learning. Like ws on what you learnt in class. Whereas soft copy hw often comprise of project work, where a different type of learning takes place, something that can't be assessed through exams.

Having a cranky computer & a corrupted thumbdrive means you lose everything you've done over the past year. Boo :( Lost alot of my soft copy contact lists. Good thing I don't trust technology, had them all printed out in hard copy. But, I think I lost photos I took of my suckerfish and of crystal growing. We also lost some of the photos which we took in South Africa (we haven't developed the photos). If you want to get back those photos again, you have to fly all the way back to SA just to take them. & I think I lost the photo of me cuddling a baby lion. I stress baby. You cannot go near grown up lions. They might attack you.

Oh! The most enjoyable part of the SA trip was the stay in a nature reserve. It was like living in a small settlement in the middle of wilderness. We lived in huts. & outside the huts was just wilderness, wilderness & more wilderness. The animals are wild so they are free to roam. I heard that the stars were so big they looked like they were going to drop down anytime (I was giddy that night, so I didn't go out stargazing). In the day, we went sightseeing on an open top jeep = no security. But the tour guide said that the animals won't jump onto us as they see the vehicle as one big animal. So as long we don't stick our hands out or make attention grabbing sounds or movements, we should be safe. We saw many different varieties of deer, rhinos, hippos, birds, giraffes, jackals, wild boars, ants. & most of them don't exist singly but as one whole colony or at least in bunches. We drove past a sleeping lion (our jeep was just next to the lion!). & not too far away, was the carcass of a zebra. So we speculated that the lion ate the zebra & then went to sleep.

Throughout the SA trip, I felt very unsafe because SA is one of the countries with the highest crime rates. Everyday our tour guide will never fail to remind us of all the bad things which have happened to previous tourists. It made me quite suspicious of everything. There is a national park right at the north eastern tip of SA which is the size of Taiwan - Kruger National Park. Many illegal immigrants from neighbouring countries in the African continent walk into SA through this park. Quite scary because it would mean that they would encounter alot of animals along the way.

SA is the richest country in Africa thus explaining why many people want to get in - to find jobs. But the truth turns out to be that there are not enough jobs for everyone & thus high crime rate (robbery, etc.). & I was staying near Kruger National Park! Locking the rooms are not enough because they can be broken in. Everyday we had to lock all our belongings back into the luggage even though we were still staying there.

Ahh, we went to Cape of Good Hope at Cape Town . It's supposedly the place where the Atlantic & Indian Oceans converge. Due to the Indian Ocean being higher in temperature as compared to the Atlantic , the winds in the area are exceptionally turbulent. We went up to the first lighthouse built in the area. The wind was blowing like crazy. I actually felt blown away. I was leaning against the wall. Ha, & there was this lady whose dress literally flipped up. Quite embarrassing :D But she just laughed it off. & then it started pouring. Due to the strong wind, the rain hurt so much, it was like a lot of needles poking me. We quickly hurried back to shelter.

& on New Year's Eve. I was at Victoria & Alfred Waterfront. Security that day was very tight as the police had received some tip off that there might be a terrorist attack. I was so paranoid, everywhere I looked I could imagine a terrorist attack in the making. Couldn't wait to get away from the place & stay in the safety of the hotel which was a reasonable distance away from the waterfront. Ha, there was no bomb after all :)

K, enough of SA.

I thought graces camp to be very weird. It was almost a literal holiday camp. Almost every meal was carried out buffet like style. The whole camp was under air conditioning. We drank from glass cups & porcelain plates. We had table napkins & the tables & chairs were all draped with linen. Not used to this type of camp. Prefer the more rugged type :) The most fun part was preparing for formal dinner & the make up class. The rest were just ok. Yes, we learnt stuff, but it didn't have to be done in a camp setting. That's what I think. The other thoughts I have are probably too controversial to be penned down here. So, that's all. So long I guess... don't know when I will be coming back here again :)

2006-12-12T18:34:00.001+08:00

Hello... just felt like writing a little for camp.

Don't know... somehow I liked last year's camp more than this year's. Maybe it got to do with the feel good vibes. Last year felt good. Sir & Ma'am were always around. They gave me things to do. Do you understand the meaning of 看重?

This year... I felt like I liked the theory course more, but it was through the camp did I know my groupmates better. I realized everyone was quite responsible, especially when we were at Pulau Ubin.

Nightwalk was quite fun. I didn't really feel scared. I was more like focusing on finding my way. Like try my best to see where I'm walking & find the red lightstick. There were points where I just plunged into total darkness. Then, I would just walk faster until I see a red lightstick. Seeing the red lightstick gives me a sense of security. The fact that there are officers around made me feel quite safe. I heard frogs croaking, owls hooting, nearly fell into a pit and knowingly stepped into a puddle of mudwater as I didn't want to go off track.

After nightwalk, we didn't have much to do as we waited for the other groups. So, some of us started playing connect-a-story (someone say something, then someone else must continue the story). Let me tell you an interesting story told by Lena, Joanna, Val & Celia:

One day, a girl was at Changi Village attending a chalet. She went to the bus interchange & realized she was the only one around. Finally, her bus came & she realized she was the only passenger. As the bus was moving along, the girl found the driver lying on the floor in a pool of blood. Then, the driver kind of rolled out of the bus into the middle of the road. The girl, of course, went out of the bus & tried to do CPR on the driver. Then, suddenly, the bus driver woke up & said sorry that he fell asleep *haha* & it turned out that the pool of blood was the strawberry milk he was drinking.

Hahaha :D Amusing right?

Right... Campfire... Rahh...
It probably would have been much more fun if campfire was done outdoors. Anyway, I think I kind of screwed the emcee thing. At the very last minute, the officers went to change the order of events. Yah, so it got kind of hard to follow the emcee script (due to the changes, I'd to jump here & there), so in the end the script was kind of abandoned. Right... & I think I would forever remember that the Zone President is Mr Lim Seng Hock, Zone Commissioner is Mr Frederick Lim, Zone Superintendent (Ops) is Mr Lim Poh Thiam & Zone Superintendent (Admin) is Ms Chiang Mei Koon. Actually I think I knew what to say, slip of the tongue. Rahh... Kind of got scolded by Ma'am, but it's seriously my fault, so it's ok. Just felt that I very 对不起Sir, because it's like he's one of the officers in charge of this & it will kind of reflect on him? Yah, & the PA System wasn't very good. I was literally talking loudly into the milke but I could hardly hear myself for some parts. Rahh... Sir is very nice. Really very nice. He was like "ok, yah, really ok". It's not that kind of sacarstic ok but more like that kind of never mind, people make mistakes that kind of ok. How to be more lively arh? Talk faster?

One thing I learned was that emceeing is different from presenting. Presenting is all planned beforehand. Emceeing is a very on the spot, impromptu thing, people tell you what, you just say what kind of thing.

I think organizing things like campfire takes up quite a lot of time, that's when people like event organizers come in handy. Ahh... maybe event organizer can be part of my list of future occupations. Zis boom bah! Rah! Rah! Rah! (Adiji Yell is so weird can...)

I think this is the camp where I slept the least, bathed the least & had that thing. Had stomach cramps, thought I'd food poisoning, but it turned out to be that thing. Even though mine is irregular, I manage to miss it every single time I have camps. & this time it came right on topo day. Ha, how nice right? For topo night, I slept for 20 minutes, or maybe even less than that. I think most people were like that too.

Oh! Oh! I'm quite pleased with myself. Pooed for 2 out of the 3 days, even though there were no fruits. Active bowel system :) I realized you should eat all the veggies at one go before you start on the other ingredients if you want to poo.

Generally, my group is very enthu. One day we're gonna get...so high! Haha.

I think my hol is no hol. Have to study for math exam, ncoc theory exam, work in hospital for 5 days, finish my nyaa service, all my hw in these 2 weeks before I go off for vacation & come back next year. Quite mad, I think. But at the end of the day, it's not how busy you are but whether you achived anything. It's just like this year, busy busy busy, but at the end of the day, I also don't know what I achived. Running through my crazy life.

One humble's journey continues... (quoted Ms Amy Lau)
加油me!

2006-11-08T08:20:00.000+08:00

Warning: long post.

23 Oct, 9.50pm >>>

Hello...
The aeroplane trip was quite ok. You know when we were about 44km from Beijing, I saw this patch of green jutting out from the clouds. At that point in time, we were at an altitude of 4km high. Wah, does that mean that the mountain range we saw was about 4km high? Haha :D
Beijing airport was dark... I think they were trying to save electricity. China is a frugal society (according to what I read in China Today).
The man who checked my passport was quite leng3 to me. He only uttered some things back at me when I talked to him.
The roads in Beijing are quite nice, the plants are very nicely pruned. The bushes are round :) They're like cute blobs of round things. There were some buidings in Beijing that were really avant garde - some semi circle dome shaped glass buildings. But I think what's more important is not how modern or high tech the buildings look, but how the whole city landscape blends together, which isn't really the case in Beijing.
Haha :D I drank warm orange juice soup for dinner.
The hostel is quite cold, there are no proper heating systems and the shower heater is faulty. Was shivering like mad when I was bathing, had to squat and bathe in order to keep warm. But I felt quite good after bathing!
The bed is very nice to tuck into :)
Ha, hope I gradually learn to find Beijing a nice place!

25 Oct, 9.15pm >>>

I realized there are lots of things to write but I just don't feel like writing much after taking notes during lessons, writing journal reflections and a farewell speech. Everything starts feeling a little repeated.
Ha, today's Wed, wonder what people are doing in school. Hmm...Heather should be leaving tomorrow for Shanghai. Was just thinking... Marie is the only person I know who has straight slanted to the left handwriting. Most people have that up down centralized handwriting or cursive towards the the right handwriting. Some people like Celia have cursive in the middle handwriting, which can account why they look messier. Haha :D
So happy I can change clothes tomorrow! *excited* (only brought enough clothes to change once every 3 days) Zijia is changing tomorrow too!
Alot of people are buying food to eat but I'm still eating the biscuits I brought from Singapore. Bleh... Maybe I'll buy when I run out of food. Didn't buy anything today.
Oh, we're attached to a gao1 yi1 ban1, equivalent to sec 4 in Singapore but they're about 15 to 16 years old because the school term starts in Sep. Ha, somehow wherever I go for exchange programs, the schools are always so hospitable. Nanyang must really improve her hospitality in a big way. As usual, the Beijing students look much more hardworking than us, must go back to Singapore & be like that. Do you know something? The gao1 san1 ban1 peple go home like 9 something at night? Yah, & there's always a traffic jam outside the school at this hour. Wah, I wonder what they canstill do at home. But I think they live nearby, & nearby are all modern high rise buildings, I suppose this is a business district, which means land is expensive. Aiyee...my handwriting is becoming messier after exmas, but still legible :)
Things to do:
- find out names of Beijing students/ get their autograph
- buy things for ahma's side, popo's side, daddy, mummy, auntie, Laura, Gary & squadmates
- switch on camera & take photos (everything is so under utilized)
- speak correct Chinese, Haha :D

30 Oct, 11.15pm >>>

We went to the cheng2 shi4 gui1 hua4 guan3 yesterday. Similar to the Urban Redevelopment Authority in Singapore. I quite liked the whole place. It has this 3D map of olden day Beijing plastered on the wall. & you know since Beijing is gigantic, so the map looked kind of impressive. Forbidden City was marked out in gold. I think the zhong1 zhou2 xian4 of Beijing, a whole single road that cuts through the middle of Beijing is so cool! It cuts the Forbidden City exactly into half and along the line. Further up from the Forbidden City is the drum tower and bell tower. Both towers make mechanical noises every hour or maybe every 2 hours to tell the time. The sound made used to be heard in the entire city, but as the population increased, there are more buildings, more traffic, and thus the sounds can't really be heard anymore. Nearby, there was this hutong area where we ate beijing roasted duck. I like it! I actually like the skin can. Haha :D
Outside the restaurant, there was this weird maiyatang guy. He has the skill of blowing sculptures out of maiyatang. He was weird. He gave me the maiyatang sculpture, then I asked him whether I'd to pay, & he said it was for me. Of course I felt very bad, so I fished out 1 RMB from my purse, then he demanded 10 RMB for the 3 sculptures he gave away to us. The weird thing was he wanted us to take the sculptures and yet he was now forcing us to pay up. In the end, we just gave the sculptures back to him & walked away. The TLE (The Little Entrepreneur) people said we were too trusting and gullible. We also went to liu2 li2 chang3 where we made yin4 zhang1s of our names.
Today, we went on a scavenger hunt about Beijing. We ate at Food Republic at dong1 fang1 xin1 tian1 di4 (Oriental Plaza). Not bad right? Singapore's Food Republic at some upmarket area in Beijing. Buying food in this Food Republic was quite inconvenient. You have to buy a credit card, like the photocopy card in our school, & use the credit to buy food & drinks. Afterwhich, you've to queue again to get your card refunded (tui4 ka3). Ha, but at least we experienced a food court in China! Ate gui4 lin2 te4 se4 chao3 fen3 for 17 RMB. Oh, & then we were walking about wang2 fu2 jing3 jie1 many times in order to find wang2 fu2 jing3. I really expected to see a jing3, that's why we kept missing it even though we walked past it many times.It turns out that the jing3 is actually just a sewage cover with words on the ground. Err -.-" We also sat the subway at Beijing. We kept transiting. I like the pics that I took from the train!
Our group's business plan was actually chosen can. Unexpected. We got to keep the full collection of the Friendlies (fu2 wa3)! Haha, tomorrow we're going back to school again. Yah, k, bye bye.

6 Nov, 6.40pm >>>

Hello. Today is Mon. By the time I came back on Sun, talking to my family & loading the pics into the pc, it was already quite late. Yah, I know I wrote quite little for the whole trip, but I shadn't attempt to write all that I missed in here, in would be too time consuming. Let's talk about chang2 cheng2. I love chang2 cheng2! I'm just sad that I didn't have enough time to climb higher. I didn't expect chang2 cheng2 to be this steep. But the sense of achievement is quite great, & the view from the top is majestic! We didn't go to ba1 da2 ling2 due to the zhong1 fei1 lun4 tan2, we went to ju1 yong1 guan1 chang2 cheng2 instead.
Generally, the temperature at Beijing ranged from approximately 7 degrees Celcius to 17 degrees Celcius. The weather was good for most of the days which means you don't have to wear so many wai4 tao4. The weather turned cold on the last 2 days of our trip. It became 0 degrees Celcius to 10 degrees Celcius zuo3 you4. hai2 gua1 feng1 ne. yuan2 ming2 yuan2 was nice because of the gua1 feng1. The falling leaves looked like snow and there was feng1 sha1 also! So cool! I managed to capture a bit of the feng1 sha1 on camera. Most of us wore masks. (My mask was courtesy of Jia Hui)
We watched this show called wu4 fei1 wu4 for most of the nights. At the beginning, I could clearly tell who was the villian but towards the end, I started to become confused as to who was bad and good. That's why it's called wu4 fei1 wu4!
Let me tell zhong1 guo2 tu2 shu1 ta4 sha4 is a small world. I met tai2 yi4 (our China buddy) & my uncle there can. Cannot believe it! We also saw a group of sec 4 HCI people who were on some other exchange program at a restaurant near yuan2 ming2 yuan2.
We are fortunate to stay in bei3 jing1 ba1 zhong1. 2 people per room, plus tv, plus attached bathroom, quite xing4 fu2 I must say. There were some of us who were sad to leave. Angela said that she doesn't want to return back to reality & she also likes the cool weather that makes her happy. Li Sian says that she doesn't want to go home because China has a lot of cheap dvds. Haha. Felt quite neutral while I was at shou3 du1 ji1 chang2. Xinyu also. Oh man, Xinyu & I have the same luggage code can! Haha :D
Aiyee! Aiyee! & there was no lian2 huan1 hui4 because of zhong1 fei1 lun4 tan2. Schools have to close at 3.30pm. Boo :( So sad! Never get to perform. Bought the costume for nothing. Never mind, we've decided to wear it on Racial Harmony Day next year.
You know when I was using the toilet at home, I had this urge of throwing the toilet paper into the bin. tai4 xi2 guan4 bei3 jing1 fang1 shi4 de sheng1 huo2 le.
I think I should be stronger after the Beijing trip considering the fact that I ate more, slept more, climbed alot of stairs everyday since I live on the 5th floor and carrying my 20 something kg luggage up 5 storeys and down 5 storeys. But I think I caught a cold after the gua1 feng1.
We will remember the friends we made in Beijing. Yay! Claudine, Kathleen, bei3 jing1 ba1 zhong1 people (classmates/ teachers/ chefs/ principal),zhu1 dao3 you2, zhuo2 lao3 shi1 & chui1 lao3 shi1. Yah, & in this trip, there was a baby, a bunny, a mummy aka robber, a chick aka nanny, a chipmunk, 2 zebras, a mafia boss aka ahma aka bird aka dog, a beaver, a banana, a fish (?? - not sure) & more! Haha :D
When I reached home last night, I opened the car door, smelled the air, felt the humidity against my skin and saw the familiar surroundings. I'd this feeling like I was back to reality. Being in bei3 jing1 was an escape from reality. When I first reached Beijing, I wondered how people back in Singapore were. Sometimes I wonder whether they are better off without our presence. The 2 weeks in Beijing passed very quickly. Came back to Singapore & realized many things had took place. Bahh... must adjust to life here again and get into the swing of things.
Anyway... I watched Japanese movies for both flights. Don't know... just find them nice to watch. I sat between Florence & chui1 lao2 shi1 for both flights. Flo was sitting by the window. Chui1 lao2 shi1 was sitting by the aisle. I'm able to kua4 guo4 chui1 lao2 shi1 without touching her! Haha :D
Aah... let me share with you what Kathleen said. There are 4 ages. The baby age where everyone cares about you. Teenage where you care what other people think about you. Middle age where you don't care what others think of you. Old age where you wonder whether anyone still thinks about you.

Click here to see the pictures I took in China. It's not very complete though, alot of the pictures are still in other people's cameras.

Sometimes we focus too much on the small details, we lose sight of the big picture.

2006-10-10T11:50:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, my fish was acting kind of funny. It was sucking the sides of the fish tank such that its head was facing downwards. It was like trying to push itself to the surface of the water. In the afternoon, it started floating upside down, but it was alive! It looked like it was doing backstroke or maybe just floating on its back. Then, some time during the early evening, it laid pitifully on its side. It was no longer sucking and its gills were sunken in, like sunken jowls. That's when I realized it died. It died the night before math exam. I didn't see this as a bad omen, I actually felt like it was a kind of jie3 tuo1, not like the fish was really a burden to me. Zhou Ang was right. When her fish died, it was black in colour. One would expect a dying fish to be of a pale unhealthy colour. But instead, it was a dark healthy black when it died and its fins were spread out in full display. And it sank, it wasn't floating! (maybe because it just died) The fish was like falling in magnificence. You know it's something like when a person is at his brink of death, he will have this last burst of energy. So I guess it was something like that? Dying, looking its best. I first met the fish on 24 Jul and it died 77 days later on 8 Oct. Dug a small pit in the backyard and buried the fish there. We marked its grave with three large pebbles. Cannot let its little life go to waste like that, so it has to give back to nature. I've decided to dig open the grave a year later to see how it looks like (hope I can still see some remains). I suppose I can return Heather her fish tank and Li Wen her fish food now.

2006-09-17T13:16:00.000+08:00

Hello, cbox is down, feel like changing the tagboard to one with the nice scroller, maybe after exams. I hope there is cca on 13 Oct. If not, we will only have 2 remaining ccas for the year and one of which I won't be attending coz I'm away in Beijing (bleh). Anyway, I don't think I'll be coming here till the end of exams (ha, they're are going to finish quite early coz I don't take physics or any special extra subject) coz I really have to study le (blogs are distracting, you know). Ya :) Bye bye.

2006-09-01T14:45:00.000+08:00

Hello. It's been a long time since I posted... find it kind of hard to write anything now...

Anyway, after Teachers' Day celebrations today (Oh! I think Jia Yi dances well! Haha :D), I stayed back till 3pm to finish my Math portfolio. Had lunch at 4pm. Yay~ finished all our SIAs already! :) Except for Chi SIA presentation.

You know that (most) people don't sing the national anthem? They just whisper (or mouth). The other time when I had phelgm, I didn't sing coz I would go out of tune. And the only sounds around me were "sss". Found it quite amusing X)

I slept for 2 and a 1/2 hours this afternoon. Guess I was too tired. Had to make up for all the nights when I was deprived of sleep :)

Oh yes! My suckerfish! I need to buy driftwood so that my suckerfish can eat the algae which grows on the driftwood. But my mother doesn't support my fish. Apparently, fishes in the house is bad fengshui for my father :( Aiyee, good thing my father doesn't really mind. So, I just feed it sinking tablets now. Still have not bought a plant for it.

I miss going for ndp even though it takes up a lot of time. Somehow you just get a kind of emotional high when you watch the parade?

Is the world unfair?
Marie asked me this question and I said yes. Then she said she doesn't think it is because what you do not have can be made up for in other areas. Like the beggar on the street. Although he is poor, he has this understanding or perspective of society that others can't see. I kind of agreed with what she said. Later, I started debating about this question with Kewei and Celia. Kewei was saying that some babies don't even get to be born into this world. They don't even get an opportunity to live. Is the world being fair to them? That kind of made some sense also. Then after that, we realized that we were arguing such that we were biased to our own point of view. I was thinking - maybe when people are biased against you, it gets made up when people are biased towards you. Aah, anyway, it was a nonsensical discussion, so never mind. In the end, Celia said that fairness is subjective. Ms Khoo's explanation of why people are pian1 xin1 is that their hearts are pian1 xiang4 to the left. Haha :D

I like rainy weather :) More for the coolness than the wetness.

I need to finish watching the day after tomorrow!

Volleyball is nice :) Aah, didn't pass Ms Sabrina her teachers' day present :(

I hope my family's camera wakes up soon. Can't load the pics into the computer X(

Hey, do you know that I don't play with my retainers anymore? :)

Exams are coming. Good luck everybody :) Good day!

2006-07-24T20:25:00.000+08:00

I've been hiding for the longest time. I'm not sure whether you would have noticed that many things I blog about is merely just a touch on the surface. But sometimes writing in blogs is a good thing also. We make a stand publicly. Compare to writing in your own private diary, because you know no one will get to read it, you write anything that comes into your head and you come out of it feeling just the same. When you blog (with sense, of course), your thoughts get more organized which might kind of help :)

I think we have concerned ourselves with too much superficial things such that we have lost some basic principles of humanity. But then again, if you can't even do these seemingly superficial and shallow things well, what makes you think you can handle things with greater depth and significance?

I intend to quit 3rd lang soon unless someone convinces me not to with a very good reason. I know it's a waste to give it up after studying it for close to 3 years. But sometimes, when your heart isn't in it anymore, it's rather pointless to continue. Ha, do you know something? Every year I would take the withdrawal form and fill it in halfway. ie fill in my name, so on and so forth, just excluding the part with the signatures. Then after a while, something will just make me continue with 3rd lang. (that alchemist book) But this time round, I really want to quit to spend more time on studies (!!!) and cca. Mummy and Daddy said that if that is the case, I must really make sure I really make use of the freed up time for this purpose.

Listening to Jap music is good :) You blast the music and you don't understand a single word and well, just listening to the tune aids thinking a lot.

I still remember that time when I was in Japan, what struck me most was how fast paced and commercialized it was. The women have those very elaborately manicured nails. Oh, and how people run to queue up at theme parks. My gosh, it was jaw dropping. I'm probably seeing things in a very superficial manner though. Who am I to comment on such things? I still like New Zealand best :) Everything is very slow paced and relaxing. Oh...and they have nice magazines :) However, it can get really slow sometimes, like how we waited for our dinner for close to an hour and no one complained.

I'm doing Env Science for sabbaticals. The previous batches got to keep frogs, but now we just keep sucker fishes. Aiyee...the sucker fish doesn't do much besides sucking whole day long. People had to catch flies for their frogs last time but I seriously think sucker fishes eat their own poo (I saw it with my own eyes!). Our sucker fish is called sucker (that's quite a bad name right? but it is a sucker fish that's why). Ahh...don't worry though...we won't leave our sucker fish to survive with it's own poo :) I asked Chai Ping to being fish food (hope she remembers). I'll also go & research on the diet of the sucker fish. We're going to Sungei Buloh tomorrow to test the water quality and observe the organisms!

I'm going to Beijing for eoy programme. Zijia, Jia Hui, Celia & Xinyu will be going too! Florence & Angela too! Cheryl Long from my Jap class and Pek Yee (my ex-class monitress) is going as well! What a crowd :) Not bad... quite looking forward to the trip :) I hope we don't miss advance...

NDP is coming~ I like that "who are you my country..." song. Standing there and hearing this music play is quite gratifying (is that the right word?). Like marching for your country, or something to that effect...

Is true that people tend to gravitate or rather side with those who are like them as well? I don't know...I somehow have a thing for ostracized people, or people whom I think are ostracized, coz I feel ostracized sometimes and I know it's not a good feeling. Bah...

In life, we must learn to laugh at ourselves because no one is perfect! We make mistakes and learn along the way. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA :D haha :)

I think self motivation & self discipline are the things in life that you cannot do without.

You know I once came across this quote: "Because man can't do everything, man must do everything he can." I know this quote is quite contradictory. It's kind of scary to larger extent too. I mean "do everything he can". I mean like everything you can. And how do you define what you can? But it's quite a powerful quote nonetheless.

2006-07-17T03:30:00.000+08:00

I've a test tomorrow (everyone walking past me in the house now keeps saying "don't you have a test")but I thought I should still come here because many things happened this week & if I wait longer, I probably won't feel like writing anymore.

On Wed morning, Eileen came to my class and told me that sj was supposed to command for this week and the next. Aiyee...I was so shocked. Was quite thankful that it rained. You need to get mentally prepared for these kind of things you know. On Thu morning, haha, some squadmates came to usher me to the podium :D Haha, my class was quite supportive :) Almost every classmate who walked past said jia you to me or something. Do you know I was shaking when I was standing in sedia? Haha, but apparently, nobody saw :) Fri was better :) Didn't feel nervous anymore. Celia said I should feel better after the first time. That's true :)

Quiz! It was really a close fight! Xinyu and I felt quite scared for them. But anyway, we got champion again! Ahaha :D The challenge trophy is ours forever now :) Yay~ We got our long awaited "savoury wraps". They're cute ^-^

After quiz, Jia Hui, Celia & I went for ndp. I liked yesterday's ndp! Because it was NE show and children are much better audiences. Yah, & there were some parts which they didn't include for the rehearsal last week. Like torchlights :) The moment they switched off the lights, you can see these small yellow lights every where. It was so pretty, oh my gosh :) Children's voices are nice to hear too :) Wah, and the fireworks! I like the fireworks that looked like coloured gems but I like the golden dust fireworks the most! The dust shimmers in the sky :) Very nice :) We were like clapping & clapping. I think NE show is quite important. The atmosphere of the whole parade will kind of make people feel more proud to be a Singaporean. But guess what? We left the stadium at 11.45PM! (they need 3 hours to clear the whole stadium, quite inefficient) My gosh, so late! By the time we reached HQ it was about 12am already. Then Jia Hui's nice papa sent me home. Reached home at 12.15am. Slept at 2.30am. So tired...